The Narcos mustache dared me to be different

I’d had a bad day. It started out horrible and once I got to work it just kept getting worse. Everyone I ran into seemed to have the most hateful attitude. You know what I’m talking about, that sort of day where nothing goes right and you just want to sucker punch every idiot who enters your personal space. When I got home, the only thing I wanted to do was to relax and do nothing.

As soon as I walk through the door my girl starts talking. I hold up my hand (rude, I know, but it was the nicest way to communicate at that moment) and head straight to my brand new bar and pour myself a tumbler of whiskey to calm my rattled nerves. She understood my nonverbal queues perfectly and watched patiently with those concerned eyes that only a woman who loves you can display.

Once I settled down and we had dinner she said she wanted to watch a show on Netflix. It was Narcos. If you haven’t seen it and don’t have Netflix, you can watch the trailer on YouTube below. It will get you started and hooked just like me. We ended up binge watching the first season that night. Just briefly, it’s about DEA Agents Javier Peña and Steve Murphy on their hunt for notorious drug lord Pablo Escobar.

The show is incredible. It is pretty violent and bloody. And they show it all, so if you’re squeamish you might be careful watching it, or whom you watch it with. One thing did happen while watching, however. She kept mentioning how hot and cute the actors that play Peña and Murphy are. It started to annoy me so I asked her what made them so hot and cute? She stumbled for a moment as if surprised by the question. She finally shouted, “The mustaches!” Hmmm.

Pedro Pascal and Boyd Holbrook as DEA Agents Peña and Murphy (Photo credit Narcos on Netflix)

I had no idea she liked mustaches or, for that matter, any sort of facial hair. I have never had facial hair in my life. My Dad taught me to shave when I started getting ‘peach fuzz’, and I’ve been smooth as a baby’s bottom ever since. It never occurred to me to grow a ‘stache or goatee, or beard. I did not relish the thought of all that itching as it grew in. But she seemed to hint that I should grow one for her.

Thus began my journey into the unknown realm of facial hair. Since I had never tried to grow a mustache I was surprised how quickly and full it came in. By Monday morning I had a respectable ‘stache above my upper lip. I was quite proud if I say so myself. She loved it!

It was a different story when I got to work, though. Oh, the ladies at the office loved it too, but the guys, well, I think they were just jealous. I got comment after comment from my male coworkers about what a great “porn ‘stache” I had grown. Porn ‘stache’? It took me a minute to get it. Each time I laughed but grew more irritated. Yes, they were jealous. It wasn’t many days later that some of the more boisterous commentators began growing their own “porn ‘staches”.

And it wasn’t just at the office. The girl at the convenient store I stop at every day said, “Wow, that looks great on you!” The cashiers at the grocery store liked it too. I began to notice women taking second glances at me. I loved it, but knew better than to tell my girl about the newfound attention from other women. I know her; she would have made me shave it off right away.

I like my mustache so much that I have considered taking the next step into facial follicle cultivation. I may start with a goatee. Going all in with a full-blown beard takes a lot of time and dedication. I never thought that watching a television show like Narcos would lead me into a completely unknown world of facial hair.

Written by Michael Ricketson